Category: shenanigans

The Blog Christmas Singalong!

It’s been a few years, but we’re bringing it back! Time for the blog singalong…

Everybody warmed up? Meeee, maaaaay, mahhhhh, mohhhhh, mooooo….

Alright, here we go!

The Selection Committee’s Coming to Town!

♫ You better play D,
You better fly high,
You better shoot the three, I’m telling you why:
The selection comm is coming to town…

Snap along!

They’re making their lists,
And checking them twice,
Gonna find out who’s half-hearted or tries,
The selection comm is coming to town…

They see you in transition,
They know when you’re in the paint,
They know if you’ve been planting your feet,
So concentrate, for goodness sake!

Oh, you better score points,
You better rebound,
You better get down and battle on the ground,
The selection comm is coming to town… ♫

Alright, but seriously: Our big plans for Christmas day are catching up on the final round of non-con and trying to make heads or tails of what non-con meant in the overall picture. There were some interesting results, and so… They will be discussed later this week. Boxing Day blog binge, eh? We’ll bring it to you.

Merry Christmas/Happy Hanukkah, Blog Fam! You guys are the best.

Merry Christmas Blog Fam!

Holy guacamole do we have a lot to catch-up on. That’ll happen starting tomorrow… Not sure how we’re going to do it. It may just be a straight-up blitz. We’ve never done a post marathon, in terms of putting up one every hour, so… That may be a thing.

That said… Today we’re just gonna have our annual Christmas singalong! Do you remember the words, long time readers? Do you want to learn the words, new readers? Great! Here we go…

The Selection Committee is Coming to Town

You better play D,
You better fly high,
You better shoot the three, I’m telling you why:
The selection comm is coming to town…

Snap along!

They’re making their lists,
And checking them twice,
Gonna find out who’s half-hearted or tries,
The selection comm is coming to town…

They see you in transition,
They know when you’re in the paint,
They know if you’ve been planting your feet,
So concentrate, for goodness sake!

Oh -you better score points,
You better rebound,
You better get down and battle on the ground,
The selection comm is coming to town… ♫

If you’re in the Seattle-area: Enjoy the snow. The roads are fine; the side streets not so much, so be safe. If you’re elsewhere: Have fun pointing and laughing at Seattleites that have such an impossible time in the snow.

Here’s the truth about Seattle snow: If someone tells you they can drive in it, they’re lying. The entire region is basically a series of foothills and yet we chose to build and live on them. Then you mix that with the fact that when the weather is snowy, it’s usually around 35 during the day and 30 degrees at night (that marine climate) and so it ends up as an entire metro being coated in black ice. Yeah, really, really fun. Big men on ice terrify us -they just have so far to fall, so please, please, please: if you’re home (we know most of our players come from the Seattle-area) BE SAFE.

And have a Merry Christmas! Love you guys!

Previewing Tonight’s Games

All times pacific standard.

CWU @ MSUB @ 6pm

Without knowing, you look at this game and go “Oh, CWU’s going to win.” That makes sense. This year doesn’t make sense. When you know things (very little things, but things all the same) you go “CWU should win but MSUB has a great homecourt advantage and the Wildcats bring out the fire in people and MSUB has good wins against WOU and WWU and that coaching staff is amazing, but Naim Ladd and Marc Rogers and Fuquan Niles and Dom Hunter is really good” and then you have no clue what this game is going to be. We still think that if MSUB wins it’ll be close, but if CWU wins it could be close or it could be by 10 or 12.

Prediction: Pick ’em.

CU-PDX @ SMU @ 7pm

CU-PDX beat Billings who beat WWU who is arguably the best team in our conference. SMU came very close to beating Anchorage and while close but no cigar, it was still impressive. We’ll veer on the side of SMU winning by five or so, simply because they’re at home and they have considerably more experience than the Cavs. Otherwise we think they’re fairly well matched, so it still should be considered essentially a pick ’em.

Prediction: SMU, but not by a lot.

UAA @ SFU @ 7pm

LOOOOOOOL. Just kidding: SFU almost beat WWU. There is the overlook factor for the Seawolves “oh, WWU on Saturday” uh uh, you have to get past the Clan first. Then again, the other side of this is that UAA beat the Falcons by 36 (but it felt like more) and so if the conference doesn’t get to them (meaning chaos) then can they make that a higher total against the Clan? #Drop50

Prediction: UAA wins.

UAF @ WWU @ 7pm

We’re intrigued by this game. We still don’t have a good sense of this UAF team and WWU has historically struggled against the Nooks, so that holds curiosity. WWU will be looking to bounce back after a loss against MSUB, and so the Viks will be out for blood in that respect. It’s like the CWU/MSUB game: UAF could beat WWU by a few, WWU could beat UAF by a few or with plenty of breathing room.

Prediction: WWU wins.

WOU @ SPU @ 7pm

ksjdflskjfsdlkfjsdlfkj We considered putting that in all caps, but are more pensively consternated than that. Kegan Bone faces his old boss, and we’re going to ask a question that we’ve been wondering since Kegan came into the conference last year: How is Kaitlyn?

Our high school team played Kegan’s team in post season frequently. His senior year we played them twice in a row, once for the district 1 championship and then immediately again at State. In between, one of our varsity soccer players managed to procure the info that their leading scorer, that being Kegan, was dating a girl named Kaitlyn; the soccer player then managed to get a student section chant regarding an aspect of their relationship going. It might have been a little bit inappropriate… Maybe.

Anyway: SPU is in freefall, WOU isn’t as good as we expected, but it’s all a mess and so tentatively we expect WOU to win, but you never know when SPU’ll decide to get their spit together. Love Tanner Omlid and Demetrius Trammell; love Coleman Wooten and Tony Miller. Trust Jim Shaw more than Grant Leep, but the game still is at SPU and home court gonna home court.

Prediction: Pick ’em.

Think we’re idiots? Have a GNAC question? Have an answer about how Kaitlyn is? Tweet at us or leave it in the comments.

Christmas Eve Singalong!

No joke, this actually happened:

We were at the grocery store and someone started singing ‘Santa Claus is Coming to Town’ and so we looked at them and went…

You better play D,
You better fly high,
You better shoot the three, I’m telling you why:
The selection comm is coming to town…

Snap along!

They’re making their lists,
And checking them twice,
Gonna find out who’s half-hearted or tries,
The selection comm is coming to town…

They see you in transition,
They know when you’re in the paint,
They know if you’ve been planting your feet,
So concentrate, for goodness sake!

Oh -you better score points,
You better rebound,
You better get down and battle on the ground,
The selection comm is coming to town… ♫

We didn’t sing the entirety to them, but we did sing it all the way through as we did our shopping.

And yes: We’re aware we have no life.

The good news is the holiday means that we have legitimate time to work on the blog and so a mini-blitz will start on the “federally recognized Christmas holiday.”

Monday: Reviewing GNAC non-con + player highlights.
Tuesday: West Region bids/west region host?
Wednesday: Misc. discussions.
Thursday: Back to the normal schedule -game previews, etc.

Merry Christmas/Happy Hanukkah, blog fam! You guys are the best.

If You Can Play, You Can Play

The CWU broadcast had a bunch of the “You can play,” commercials, in which CWU athletes state their support for LGBT athletes competing in collegiate athletics -something we also support wholeheartedly. We noted that it’s ironic because in the GNAC, two of the most homophobic campuses are in Seattle and Portland, even though mathematically you’re more likely to be subjected to homophobia and/or a hate crime in Ellensburg.

We were told by the GNAC Assistant Commissioner for Communications that comments like that have no place affiliating with the GNAC, so we deleted them because we didn’t want any trouble, but…

Wait a second, what?

Attending SPU when gay marriage went legal in Washington at about 12pm in February 2012, we vividly remember raising our hand in class to state that it was finally official. There was dead silence. Shortly thereafter, there was a small paragraph in the student paper noting that gay marriages would not be held on campus, nor allowed in our campus affiliated chapel. Throughout our time there, it was a contentious issue as to whether or not pro-gay SPU students could even form an organization and/or meet on campus.

Somehow we don’t think SPU would be proud of having an out student athlete. We could be wrong, but we do know they wouldn’t be allowed to get married on campus like so many of their straight classmates.

We’re not familiar with Concordia-Portland’s official policy on gay marriage, but we do remember a few instances of media attention when professors from other Missouri-Synod affiliated schools were fired for coming out, or simply for their colleagues finding out about their sexuality innocuously (family pictures, slip of phrase, etc.).

With some basic googling, we find out that CU-PDX students attempted to start a gay-straight alliance, but it was quickly quashed by the admin because it would look to the denomination that they were promoting homosexual behavior, something that is 100% not okay with the Missouri-Synod branch of the Lutheran Church. CU-PDX now has ‘Unity’ club instead. It’s a school in Portland, so we do have hope that certain parts of Concordia-Portland is open and affirming, but somehow we don’t think an out athlete would be appreciated.

And a GNAC official telling us that we have no business affiliating with the GNAC, for noting official school policies, is almost as ludicrous as the GNAC pretending to take an official stance in support of LGBT student athletes, while having schools with such homophobic policies in place.

We love and believe in ALL of our GNAC men’s basketball players -past, present, and future- and know 100% that if you can play -you can play.

Results and analysis up in the morning. Thanks for a great night of basketball!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving Blog Fam!


We’re thankful for every single one of you because it means that instead of just obsessing about and overanalyzing GNAC men’s basketball on our own, we get to share that joy and passion and have a reason and place to express it. Go Dawgs. Not sure we expected to be three years into blogging, we didn’t really set out with a goal in mind of how many years, but we love doing it and have so much fun and it brings us so much pride and joy that you guys read what we write and are excited about it.

Thanks Blog Fam ❤ You truly inspire us.

Game previews up tomorrow at 11am.

Shenanigans: GNAC is Bae.

Dear 2016-2017 GNAC Men’s Basketball Players,

We love you. It’s been less than a week and you’ve already made our heart sing like whoa.

Transfers -you’re great, you’re amazing, we’re so excited and happy to have you and you’ve proven it so much already in just two measly D2 games. Olivier-Paul, you know what we think. Taylor Stafford we’re so proud of you. Ali Faruq-Bey you are our bae and are fantastic. Not really; the bae is hyperbole, the fantastic is for real. Kedar Wright, we’re happy to have lost Patrick Simon II because we’ve got you instead -100% worth it.

Returners that have stepped up their games majorly already, even when we were expecting it out of a number of you -we love it. We’ve missed you. Tanner Omlid, you were good last year and we’re already so proud of you this year. Tyler Copp and Trey Ingram, it was a whole year of not really getting to write about you two and yet this year here you are again and it’s wonderful. Naim Ladd is stepping up big, we see dat shooting. Joe Rasmussen, putting up numbers, what’s with this craziness. He’s still pawning off rebounding on everyone else, but he’s now only moderately bad at defense rather than full out refusing to play it, so that’s progress. There are more of you and we love you and we promise you’ll get gushed about too in good time if you just keep putting up those numbers.

Frosh are rocking it hardcore and we’re cooing like there’s no tomorrow. Tony Miller. Daulton Hommes. When little kids effectively rebound, it’s so great. So far you’re the only frosh that have seen big minutes and rocked it but we love you to death, which both of you know, but still. To any other frosh that might read this: We can’t wait to be excited about you! We know you’re going to be great.

To all GNAC players -come the mid point of the season, if you’re passable at all, we’ll be complaining about you. It’s what we do. It’s one of the reasons our own school loathes us -they’re usually really good, and yet if you heard us talk about them, you’d assume they’re at the bottom because we’re always like “ugh, we have so much to work on, I can’t believe they did that, that is not acceptable, we’re never going to win like this,” when they just won a game by 20. Never stops.

So yes. We do genuinely love all of y’all and are already so proud and feel so blessed to get to write about amazing guys like you! Super cheesy, but super true, so thank-you.

The GNAC Men’s BasketBlog


Our readers are awesome too. Yes, even you.

We went to write tomorrow morning’s preview and then this came out, so… Okay. We’ll go with it. The fingers know.

Monday Madness: GIF Anticipations 2016!

This is our second year in a row doing this, and thus we are making it a tradition. Last year it was The Simpsons. This year, in honor of the fact that Milo Murphy’s Law is about to come out, we are using our FAVORITE cartoon ever: Phineas and Ferb.

All links open in new tabs.


If you haven’t watched Phineas and Ferb: the writers originally worked on Family Guy and The Simpsons, but now work for Disney. Very clever humor, but also G-rated. Every season is on Netflix and it’s about two brothers that break every law of physics while doing their darndest to seize each day of Summer.

Next week… TBD.

Welcome Back!?!

Good Morning! We’re entering our third year and thought it was time to answer some questions:

Question 1: do you have any pets? 
Yes. The first season it was Alex Birketoft, Julian Nichols, and Anye Turner. Last season it was Bryce Leavitt and Corey Hammell. This season we’re anticipating it being Suki Wiggs, Corey Hammell, and Tanner Omlid.

Question 2: do you drive? If so, have you gotten a speeding ticket?
Yes. We’ve been to every school in the GNAC at least once, and then have also been to Chico State, San Bernardino State, Dixie State, and Tarleton State. This season we’re going to try to add Concordia-Irvine, Azusa Pacific, UC San Diego, and hopefully at least one more SoCal school to that list. We’re proud to say we’ve somehow managed to never get a speeding ticket nor in an accident while on a basketball trip. *knock on wood*

Question 3: have you ever been to a different country? 
Yes. We get up to Simon Fraser at least once per season.

Question 4: where do you buy food on basketball trips? 
WinCo. Their prices are amazing and they have an extensive prepared foods section. We highly recommend it.

Question 5: how many siblings do you have? 
We have Bit-o-Baca and are crossing our fingers that we ultimately get a Pac-West sib too.

Question 6: do you have a desktop computer or a laptop? 
This blog is written on a 13″ Macbook Air.

Question 7: how old will you be turning on your next birthday? 
With this post we officially turn 2-years-old!twoyearoldcakecrop

Question 8: tell me something you are planning to do this pre-season?
We’re finally in our third year and so we’ve kind of settled in. We actually really liked what we did with the pre-season stuff last year so you’ll be seeing GIF anticipations, pre-season superlatives, too many prognostications, pre-season all conference teams, and that sort of thing once again.

Question 9: when was the last time you cried? 
When we wrote about SPU in the round of 64. We just feel so bad for Bryce.

Question 10: what is your perfect beverage?
Sugar-free Apple Cider. Our throat still hasn’t recovered from undergrad. One game and we’re as hoarse as Doc Rivers.

Question 11: have you ever had an all-nighter? 
YES. Double-all nighter. Legendary NNU trip of senior year. We absolutely lost our mind at someone at the CWU game two days before that and it was stressing us out. Because of the NCAA tourney we couldn’t skip our Friday classes nor miss work and so we left at 2am on no sleep. We got to NNU and ended up with the SMU baseball team consoling us during a rain delay. At the game that night we found out that the person was totally fine with us screaming at them and that it completely didn’t matter. Post game we didn’t trust the Pass conditions and so ended up driving all the way back to Seattle and getting home at like 5am. It did turn out that the Pass did in fact close for two days, before we would have gotten across, so… It all worked out.

Question 12: can you taste the difference between water in each of the five states and one province?
Yes and it’s all disgusting except Washington. We pay an arm and a leg for our water infrastructure but it is soooo worth it.

Seriously, we challenge you: drink some water from a drinking fountain at one of the four schools:

CWU: Go all the way down the entranceway and take a left.
SMU: There’s one between the (nice new) bathrooms on your right upon immediately exiting the gym.
SPU: There’s one (two) to the right of the pop machine on the normal concourse.
WWU at Whatcom: Below the stairs. It’s near the concessions.

We couldn’t tell you that for any other school because we never go to any other school without at least 50 ounces of plain water. We had drama at MSUB because they tried to make us dump our (re-usable) bottle:

“But it could be alcohol!”
“I’m sorry, you are sorely mistaken if you think I could be Falcon Girl while drunk.”

Drunk Falcon Girl would sit there and laugh at the rebounding ineptness of the other team and then end up in a huge giggle fit throughout pretty much the entire game regardless as to how SPU was playing. Falcon Girl is way too neurotic to be anything having to do with alcohol; that particular game went to 2OT and ended with her clutching someone’s hand while curled up in fetal position.

Once again, a “real” Welcome Back post’ll go up in early to mid November, but for the hardcore people that are here now: Welcome. We love you. We appreciate you. You guys are the best!


Once again, we’re back for the Mondays in September & October (starting on Labor Day) and so this week will be the Blog Blitz to kill all of the posts that should have been posted at some point before this.

Schedule for the Week:

-Player-of-the-Year announcement on Tuesday.
-The West Regional on Wednesday.
-The Elite 8 & Final Four on Thursday.
-?? Maybe something on Friday. Suggestions?

Here’s some rats playing basketball as an apology:

The defense is a little lacking but the “rebounding” is good.